14-1/2 Weeks...What have we learned?
Looking back, I can't believe how far we've come and how much we've learned. Notice I said, 'we've' learned, not A&K have learned. It's pretty obvious what they have learned.
I've learned 8 people create LOTS of dirty laundry...and a huge pile of clean laundry for folding.
I've learned when Kebrom shounts 'SHINT' (potty in Amharic) RUN him into the bathroom.
I've learned feeding 8 people, 2 of them unable to scour the pantry on their own, takes way more effort than feeding 6. And, the family eats quite a bit more.
I've learned cutting the hair off is sometimes a better option than fighting with a daughter over combing it.
I've learned grief and change put a lock on a child's emotions and mind. It takes lots of love and a feeling of safety for that lock to be removed, and there's nothing I can do to speed that process.
I've learned, I'm not nearly as dependant on God as I should be. Even when I'd SAY I was relying on God, I'd have a nice backup plan, just in case.
I've learned I'm not as selfless as I thought I was. Still like things my way, on my schedule, with my back up plan.
I've learned I'm not as strong as I thought I was. In fact, Paul (and probably my 4 older children) will attest, I've fallen apart more in the last 14-1/2 weeks than possibly in the last 14-1/2 YEARS!! Atsede & Kebrom might think it's normal for moms in America to just start crying periodically.
I've learned to be more honest in my conversations with God. This is hard. I don't feel equipped. I don't feel good at it. In fact at times, I feel really bad at it.
I've learned, I too, think life should be fair. God should listen to MY requests. I see Him answering other prayers, blessing them, giving them a break...does He not hear me? It's a difficult lesson to learn. My faith is not based on feelings, but on conviction. I'm choosing to stand on God's promises. Even though I'm not necessarily feeling like I'm reaping the benefits of those promises. There's a difference there.
I was whining to my Mom yesterday (what would I do without her) about how hard life feels lately, truly, it just feels hard. Mom said, 'You've traded your life that had been easier, for a different one. Caring for 2 of God's children who needed you.'
She's right. When we saw the photo of Atsede & Kebrom, I never heard a voice say, 'yes, these two will make your life EASY!' It was my human nature assuming, if this is God's will, surely it will constantly FEEL like it is the right thing. Feelings are funny things, and not so reliable.
And, I've re-learend, I love the cuddles of sleepy-eyed little one crawling into my lap. That's where Kebrom is right now, soft, buzz cut head, leaning right under my chin. This is what I'd THOUGHT it would be like.
I've learned 8 people create LOTS of dirty laundry...and a huge pile of clean laundry for folding.
I've learned when Kebrom shounts 'SHINT' (potty in Amharic) RUN him into the bathroom.
I've learned feeding 8 people, 2 of them unable to scour the pantry on their own, takes way more effort than feeding 6. And, the family eats quite a bit more.
I've learned cutting the hair off is sometimes a better option than fighting with a daughter over combing it.
I've learned grief and change put a lock on a child's emotions and mind. It takes lots of love and a feeling of safety for that lock to be removed, and there's nothing I can do to speed that process.
I've learned, I'm not nearly as dependant on God as I should be. Even when I'd SAY I was relying on God, I'd have a nice backup plan, just in case.
I've learned I'm not as selfless as I thought I was. Still like things my way, on my schedule, with my back up plan.
I've learned I'm not as strong as I thought I was. In fact, Paul (and probably my 4 older children) will attest, I've fallen apart more in the last 14-1/2 weeks than possibly in the last 14-1/2 YEARS!! Atsede & Kebrom might think it's normal for moms in America to just start crying periodically.
I've learned to be more honest in my conversations with God. This is hard. I don't feel equipped. I don't feel good at it. In fact at times, I feel really bad at it.
I've learned, I too, think life should be fair. God should listen to MY requests. I see Him answering other prayers, blessing them, giving them a break...does He not hear me? It's a difficult lesson to learn. My faith is not based on feelings, but on conviction. I'm choosing to stand on God's promises. Even though I'm not necessarily feeling like I'm reaping the benefits of those promises. There's a difference there.
I was whining to my Mom yesterday (what would I do without her) about how hard life feels lately, truly, it just feels hard. Mom said, 'You've traded your life that had been easier, for a different one. Caring for 2 of God's children who needed you.'
She's right. When we saw the photo of Atsede & Kebrom, I never heard a voice say, 'yes, these two will make your life EASY!' It was my human nature assuming, if this is God's will, surely it will constantly FEEL like it is the right thing. Feelings are funny things, and not so reliable.
And, I've re-learend, I love the cuddles of sleepy-eyed little one crawling into my lap. That's where Kebrom is right now, soft, buzz cut head, leaning right under my chin. This is what I'd THOUGHT it would be like.
Hello Katrina and Paul!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if you remember us, Randy and Lisa Wilson, we moved from Missoula to Spokane 8 1/2 years ago (where has that time gone?) and had attended CLC while in Missoula. We still have our insurance through GiiG and received the recent newletter last week and were blessed by reading Paul's article and then your blog here! What an amazing God-journey your family is walking. I've shared your blog with a family at our church who is presently waiting for foster children to arrive with the intention of adoption, to encourage them along the way. Our neighbors are also an adoptive family, they have 4 birth children (all girls) and adopted 4 brothers from Liberia AND she homeschools. They are on a new journey right now as their house burned down last January and we saw God provide for them from His body in amazing ways and they moved into their new home at the end of August. They are in awe of God and asking what/how He wants them to use this huge blessing.
I am excited to read future posts of the way God works in your family. I pray God's continued blessing and favor on you and Paul as you raise this wonderful family He has chosen for you!
Lisa Wilson
Bitterroot98@yahoo.com