Thinking
I've spent a reasonable amount of time reflecting on this past year. 2011, what a year. It was full of incredible ups & downs. People have told me, this past year, we need the downs in order to properly appreciate the ups. Hard to fathom, that the downs were necessary.
For Geoffrey, the high of graduation, valedictorian, great scholarship to the U...with the lows of watching his basketball team play without him, coaching the younger kids as he deeply longed to play, no skiing, watching 'his' tennis team take state, again, without him. Was the pain necessary to appreciate the positives?
I can't yet really reflect on any lessons I've learned from my mom this past year. Too painful. Too fresh. HAVE decided, the word 'lost' in relationship to death, is in my opinion, stupid. Lost somehow infers if we tried hard enough, that person could be found. She's not lost. I know where she is. She's just not here. She's not where I can reach her, or hear from her. Oh, missing her is painful.
Also been wondering, what have we learned going through these weeks of medical treatments with Kebrom? Sometimes that child throwing a tantrum in the store, might not need discipline. The mom trying to get out of the store with some dignity in tact, may be, on the edge of losing it herself. In addition, just the time involved, in getting back & forth to doctor appointments, the stress of waiting for lab results & calling those in. Truly, I had no clue how emotionally difficult. Then, there are the other kids, whose lives go on, and who expect to eat on a regular basis.
The whole balance of meeting each persons needs, something I haven't mastered. It's amazing to me how far our family has come, in terms of adjustment, adding 2 children in 19 months. There have been so many unexpected things. My older children, still, amaze me. While all this chaos was happening around our house, they were continuing to grow & mature, into these young adults I so love & enjoy. JoyLynn has blossomed in 4th grade at Valley Christian.
The social worker did tell us, adopting 2 was way more difficult than adopting one. She did warn us, it's possible the children we would bring into our home wouldn't like our other kids. She warned us our kids might not like the new kids. somehow, I just didn't think that was a 'real' possibility. We have had, and continue to have our share of personality conflicts. We're all human. Sometimes, it doesn't feel like I like them, and I'm convinced they don't always FEEL like they like me. So glad love, and commitment are not based on feelings.
We have learned, when a person is going through a crisis, and of course the definition of crisis would vary from person to person...what they need, is just to be blessed. Asking what they need isn't really a blessing, because they've been focusing on survival. Just bringing a meal, picking up a few of the kids...or sneaking in & cleaning the house...letting them know they've not been forgotten.
For Geoffrey, the high of graduation, valedictorian, great scholarship to the U...with the lows of watching his basketball team play without him, coaching the younger kids as he deeply longed to play, no skiing, watching 'his' tennis team take state, again, without him. Was the pain necessary to appreciate the positives?
I can't yet really reflect on any lessons I've learned from my mom this past year. Too painful. Too fresh. HAVE decided, the word 'lost' in relationship to death, is in my opinion, stupid. Lost somehow infers if we tried hard enough, that person could be found. She's not lost. I know where she is. She's just not here. She's not where I can reach her, or hear from her. Oh, missing her is painful.
Also been wondering, what have we learned going through these weeks of medical treatments with Kebrom? Sometimes that child throwing a tantrum in the store, might not need discipline. The mom trying to get out of the store with some dignity in tact, may be, on the edge of losing it herself. In addition, just the time involved, in getting back & forth to doctor appointments, the stress of waiting for lab results & calling those in. Truly, I had no clue how emotionally difficult. Then, there are the other kids, whose lives go on, and who expect to eat on a regular basis.
The whole balance of meeting each persons needs, something I haven't mastered. It's amazing to me how far our family has come, in terms of adjustment, adding 2 children in 19 months. There have been so many unexpected things. My older children, still, amaze me. While all this chaos was happening around our house, they were continuing to grow & mature, into these young adults I so love & enjoy. JoyLynn has blossomed in 4th grade at Valley Christian.
The social worker did tell us, adopting 2 was way more difficult than adopting one. She did warn us, it's possible the children we would bring into our home wouldn't like our other kids. She warned us our kids might not like the new kids. somehow, I just didn't think that was a 'real' possibility. We have had, and continue to have our share of personality conflicts. We're all human. Sometimes, it doesn't feel like I like them, and I'm convinced they don't always FEEL like they like me. So glad love, and commitment are not based on feelings.
We have learned, when a person is going through a crisis, and of course the definition of crisis would vary from person to person...what they need, is just to be blessed. Asking what they need isn't really a blessing, because they've been focusing on survival. Just bringing a meal, picking up a few of the kids...or sneaking in & cleaning the house...letting them know they've not been forgotten.
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