Ability to Empathize
The week between my mom's death & the memorial service were quite surreal. Being in Montana, it was difficult to process. Had such a vivid dream of Mom one night, I swear she was speaking to me. She told me "Things change, Honey." I woke myself up crying, that I didn't WANT anything to change. I wanted her here, with me...where I could call her.
The entire experience, gave me, at long last, something very much in common with my Atsede. My Mom left because of illness, completely out of her control. It changed my life, but in many ways, my life goes on unchanged. Atsede lost her mom, too. Only, her mom left her out of necessity, completely out of Atsede's control. Her mom couldn't tell her why, just walked away crying. Atsede described the seen to Paul. Just walked away crying, saying nothing to the little girl being left behind.
My mom is in heaven. Atsede's mom is in Ethiopia, I'm sure wondering, EVERY DAY, what Atsede & Kebrom are doing.
I miss my mom very much. Atsede misses her mom too. We had a short talk one day, after I'd, again, cried out all my tears. Told her how much I missed my mom, and how I imagine how she missed hers. Told her, again, it's okay to love us both. I never want to replace her Ethiopian mom.
It may be my imagination, but I do think that conversation marked a significant change in the way Atsede views me. But, I have to admit, it could be that I'm the one who changed. I couldn't understand or process the loss of a parent. Now, I can. I've noticed, in talking with others in the last weeks, women remember exactly when they lost their mothers. It sounds like, it never gets less painful, just more of an ability to deal with it. My sweet Atsede, we have something in common, and my heart aches for your loss more than ever, because now I know what it feels like.
The entire experience, gave me, at long last, something very much in common with my Atsede. My Mom left because of illness, completely out of her control. It changed my life, but in many ways, my life goes on unchanged. Atsede lost her mom, too. Only, her mom left her out of necessity, completely out of Atsede's control. Her mom couldn't tell her why, just walked away crying. Atsede described the seen to Paul. Just walked away crying, saying nothing to the little girl being left behind.
My mom is in heaven. Atsede's mom is in Ethiopia, I'm sure wondering, EVERY DAY, what Atsede & Kebrom are doing.
I miss my mom very much. Atsede misses her mom too. We had a short talk one day, after I'd, again, cried out all my tears. Told her how much I missed my mom, and how I imagine how she missed hers. Told her, again, it's okay to love us both. I never want to replace her Ethiopian mom.
It may be my imagination, but I do think that conversation marked a significant change in the way Atsede views me. But, I have to admit, it could be that I'm the one who changed. I couldn't understand or process the loss of a parent. Now, I can. I've noticed, in talking with others in the last weeks, women remember exactly when they lost their mothers. It sounds like, it never gets less painful, just more of an ability to deal with it. My sweet Atsede, we have something in common, and my heart aches for your loss more than ever, because now I know what it feels like.
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